God,what a horrible week!I spend the last for days just waiting for something to make sense,or to feel real.Lookin' for a tiny bit of reality,for something relatable,familiar,that I can find out how it turns out just by lookin' at it.No surprises.
I'm so tired of the bad news,of never being able to control my anxiety,of always lashing out at people for it.
I'm so fed up of my new stupid classmates too.Of all the BS they keep talkin' about and how they always seem to see me like most people:An Ice Princess.The cold girl who never cares about the rest of the world,trapped in her own glass castle,staring at them from the top of a tower,never backing down,never regretting anything.
And I don't let them think otherwise,better be branded as an Ice Princess than a loser who can't make any friends.And anyways,they're probably right about it.I mean,I'm the one who grew up as a spoiled little brat and turned out to be a stuck up girl,who never asks for any favors and always gets everything she wants.I'm the one who in order not to suffer,refuses to feel anything.
My family is falling apart too.And seems like this is the only thing in the world that is not my fault.Guess I can count on my stupid relatives to always stir up some trouble.I don't think I can handle the fights anymore.All the talking,the money problems,who only my dad can solve.
I know it sounds selfish,but for once in my life I wish I could have a normal life,with them living far away from us and never visiting.
It's so weird that I never even felt close to them.I'm mean we're family,but somehow,they found a way to push me out.
Guess they never understood me.For them,I'm just the petulant little bitch who always seem to ruin their lives with her opinions.And I know they never knew me,that's for sure.I'm still this mistery who does't look a thing like their children and hates stupid parties and doesn't study law.
I guess it would be the strangest thing to see the world with their eyes.Missing all the important little things and living a constant lie.Turning all the magic into useless stuff.
But enough about them,talk about them makes me even more sad,if that's even possible.
Last night was one of the most terrible nights ever.One of those days that you have no fucking idea what's ahead of you,and your future looks scary as hell.I cried like a baby reading a book,tried to run away from all my worries with no success,that incertanty would always catch up with me,so I went to the only place that could make me forget all of my problems at least for a little while,my best friend's house.And in the end,I saw that little slant of light,that tiny bit of hope that would keep me going and things slightly changed.
Guess I'm ready for this new life and for these new challenges.Only this time,I'm gonna make it my own.
