It's been a while since I don't write here.And if there's anything I can tell you is that I'm having a terribly bad day.I'm feeling anxious,I can't concentrate and everything just seems so boring and uniportant...
Things have been difficult this year and I wish I could cope better with all that,but everything is moving a little too fast and I guess that scares me.I hate changes,always have,so sometimes I keep trying to get things to slow down for a moment,but it's always useless,I can't stop this train.
It's been a week since I don't touch my books or homework and I hate going too college now.I'm feeling sleepy all the time,my lips are sore and I have bruises all over my body.I look like a rape victim,only worse.
I don't feel like putting make or dressing up,parties do not seem so fun and I'm pushing everybody away.I just don't wanna deal with people right now.Seems hard.
The only thing I seem to enjoy is being on this computer and reading my books.I'm becoming a loser,someone who wonders on the halls alone,keeping everybody out.
This past few weeks I thinking about going to the shrink again.I did analyses a few years ago and it really,really helped.It was such a difficult time and it really made my life slide and shift and adjust to a safe place.But then came the medicines and I stopped feeling anxious and insecure all the time so I just stopped.The pills still work their magic in me,but sometimes I rally need someone to talk to.Someone who won't judge and will be understanding,someone older than me that knows what I'm going to,someone who feels like the perfect best friend.
Changing the subject,I've been missing someone lately.Someone I barely know and who I hooked up once at the movies.He's loving and charming,and smells delicious.For some reason I can't stop thinking about his lips and he moved them across my neck,discovering my low points all at once.
